Got You Pegged
I recently discovered the radio program This American Life. It only just became available as a podcast from Public Radio International. This last episode is called "Got You Pegged" and it's about "the trouble people get into when they assume too much about strangers". But, two other huge topics are: the many assumptions people make those familiar to them and also, those assumptions we make about ourselves.
I will get the first point over with quickly. Some assumptions I want to dispel:
-If I don't talk to you, it doesn't mean I am in a bad mood. It could, but maybe I am just tired, or trying to concentrate, or distracted, or I don't have anything to talk to you about, or maybe I simply don't like you.
-If I sing at work, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm in a good mood, often it does, but sometimes I just like to sing. Can't a man sing even when he's down?
-Just because my skin is darker than yours, it does not mean I fake'n'bake. Although I do admittedly visit the tanning salon, my visits are far and few between and it is hardly to get a tan. What you can expect in a country more gray than Canada even? Sometimes I just need a pick-me-up!
And that note leads into my second point: Assumptions you make about yourself.
Over the past few years I have become increasingly aware of racism, and I don't mean observing it, but that I really feel subject to it like I have not previously. When I was a child, basically I knew there was black and white, I didn't really think of Asians as anything particularly different and I didn't think Racism was a global problem. I still remember the day when I realized that Asians weren't white. I remember feeling really shocked, like someone had lied to me, that I grew up thinking we were all the same thing but all of a sudden there were so many different people around. Actually there were always so many different people around, but my child's mind hadn't been corrupted enough. One of my earliest best friends was a black girl. Then I moved and my next best friend was a Philippino and to Indian guys. My schools were populated with other first generation Canadians: Italians, Portuguese, Polish, Philippino, Slovak, Africans, Chinese, Indians. It was only when adults pointed out that we were different that the thought struck me. I think most people who grow up in a multi-cultural society have a similar experience. But I never thought of Italians as being anything than white. I was Italian and ergo I was white. I never questioned it, until I was in my 20s.
I was living in Calgary, the whitest, most conservative place I've ever lived in, doing my M.Sc. degree. We had an undergrad student in our lab, a man of colour, who one day asked me causally if I was ever a victim of discrimination. I thought he was referring to me being gay, and so I replied that you could never know, I mean maybe people don't like me just because, or maybe it does happen because I'm gay. How could I know? But actually he was also also referring to my skin colour. I was really stunned, because it was a direct challenge to my perceptions of just what my skin colour is, and if you grow up thinking the whole time that you're white and someone asks you if you have been discriminated against as a person of colour- well that takes a little getting used to. That is a challenge to your self-identity. Then I really had to think... have i ever been a victim of racism? How would I know it? Am I actually a person of colour? What is a person of colour? Yes, my skin is naturally a little darker than most white people, even in the absence of tanning. And it's oily, and that's not just the olive oil. I also don't sweat, I just kind of get greasy. I had previously been amused when my ethnic background was indeterminable to colleagues or strangers, but I never thought it meant anything other than white. I have been mistaken for Indian, Lebanese, Tunisian, Persian, and Arab. When I went to Iran, several colleagues off-handedly joked that I wouldn't have any problems fitting it, but when I was there, I never felt like I blended into the crowd- to me, it was obvious I was no Persian. Other incidents include the aforementioned tanning questioning. I can think of at least three separate incidents where Germans have made comments on the colour of my skin (in the absence of tanning!) as being quite dark. i.e. not white, and assuming that I visited the tanning salon quite often or used some kind of cream. Of course, there's no way you are white and have such dark skin. That is, of course by German standards.
Here, in small town Northern Germany, the cultural diversity is disturbingly, if unsurprisingly, low. It means anything beyond pasty white is immediately marked as foreign. In addition, I have a big nose, dark hair, a full beard, long eyelashes, and a slender frame, I am not going to be mistaken as German by anyone. The other major difference is that in Germany, multicultural means something very different than what it meant in Toronto. In Cologne (nd much of the country) ethnic diversity means Turkish. The Turks are by far the largest ethnic minority. There are Germans and there are the Turks. If you are dark and you speak bad German, it's obvious where you fit in. In another incidence, I was in Hamburg to meet a friend and at an U-bahn station. There was a small group of anti-fascist punks handing out flyers for a protest. I was handed one and mentioned that unfortunately I wouldn't be in Hamburg on that day because I live in Plön. She immediately asked if I had experienced any trouble there and that they would be willing to help me out. It took me a second to think what she meant. Oh, you mean with me? As in neo-nazis are chasing me down in the street cuz I'm a dark-skinned foreigner whose stealing their jobs? Well why would that happen, I'm a white guy, or aren't I?
So then, have I ever been a victim of racism? Maybe in some twisted way racism self-reflected. Throughout my adult life others have consistently pegged me as a person of colour, although I have never given any thought to being anything other than white. Could it be that I deny my own identity? Maybe after all I am a person of colour. I think the next time I have to fill in a form which asks for my ethnicity, I'm going to put something other than white, and see the reactions I get.
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As an aside, here is my favourite line from the program. Is it wrong to sometimes feel this way also?
"Here's the thing about people: I don't really like them. That's why I find racism so curious. There are so many reasons to dislike people, you're gonna go with colour?"
-Joel
------
Here is an assumption you most certainly can make:
-If I invite you to my place for dinner, you can assume I would like you to reciprocate.
I will get the first point over with quickly. Some assumptions I want to dispel:
-If I don't talk to you, it doesn't mean I am in a bad mood. It could, but maybe I am just tired, or trying to concentrate, or distracted, or I don't have anything to talk to you about, or maybe I simply don't like you.
-If I sing at work, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm in a good mood, often it does, but sometimes I just like to sing. Can't a man sing even when he's down?
-Just because my skin is darker than yours, it does not mean I fake'n'bake. Although I do admittedly visit the tanning salon, my visits are far and few between and it is hardly to get a tan. What you can expect in a country more gray than Canada even? Sometimes I just need a pick-me-up!
And that note leads into my second point: Assumptions you make about yourself.
Over the past few years I have become increasingly aware of racism, and I don't mean observing it, but that I really feel subject to it like I have not previously. When I was a child, basically I knew there was black and white, I didn't really think of Asians as anything particularly different and I didn't think Racism was a global problem. I still remember the day when I realized that Asians weren't white. I remember feeling really shocked, like someone had lied to me, that I grew up thinking we were all the same thing but all of a sudden there were so many different people around. Actually there were always so many different people around, but my child's mind hadn't been corrupted enough. One of my earliest best friends was a black girl. Then I moved and my next best friend was a Philippino and to Indian guys. My schools were populated with other first generation Canadians: Italians, Portuguese, Polish, Philippino, Slovak, Africans, Chinese, Indians. It was only when adults pointed out that we were different that the thought struck me. I think most people who grow up in a multi-cultural society have a similar experience. But I never thought of Italians as being anything than white. I was Italian and ergo I was white. I never questioned it, until I was in my 20s.
I was living in Calgary, the whitest, most conservative place I've ever lived in, doing my M.Sc. degree. We had an undergrad student in our lab, a man of colour, who one day asked me causally if I was ever a victim of discrimination. I thought he was referring to me being gay, and so I replied that you could never know, I mean maybe people don't like me just because, or maybe it does happen because I'm gay. How could I know? But actually he was also also referring to my skin colour. I was really stunned, because it was a direct challenge to my perceptions of just what my skin colour is, and if you grow up thinking the whole time that you're white and someone asks you if you have been discriminated against as a person of colour- well that takes a little getting used to. That is a challenge to your self-identity. Then I really had to think... have i ever been a victim of racism? How would I know it? Am I actually a person of colour? What is a person of colour? Yes, my skin is naturally a little darker than most white people, even in the absence of tanning. And it's oily, and that's not just the olive oil. I also don't sweat, I just kind of get greasy. I had previously been amused when my ethnic background was indeterminable to colleagues or strangers, but I never thought it meant anything other than white. I have been mistaken for Indian, Lebanese, Tunisian, Persian, and Arab. When I went to Iran, several colleagues off-handedly joked that I wouldn't have any problems fitting it, but when I was there, I never felt like I blended into the crowd- to me, it was obvious I was no Persian. Other incidents include the aforementioned tanning questioning. I can think of at least three separate incidents where Germans have made comments on the colour of my skin (in the absence of tanning!) as being quite dark. i.e. not white, and assuming that I visited the tanning salon quite often or used some kind of cream. Of course, there's no way you are white and have such dark skin. That is, of course by German standards.
Here, in small town Northern Germany, the cultural diversity is disturbingly, if unsurprisingly, low. It means anything beyond pasty white is immediately marked as foreign. In addition, I have a big nose, dark hair, a full beard, long eyelashes, and a slender frame, I am not going to be mistaken as German by anyone. The other major difference is that in Germany, multicultural means something very different than what it meant in Toronto. In Cologne (nd much of the country) ethnic diversity means Turkish. The Turks are by far the largest ethnic minority. There are Germans and there are the Turks. If you are dark and you speak bad German, it's obvious where you fit in. In another incidence, I was in Hamburg to meet a friend and at an U-bahn station. There was a small group of anti-fascist punks handing out flyers for a protest. I was handed one and mentioned that unfortunately I wouldn't be in Hamburg on that day because I live in Plön. She immediately asked if I had experienced any trouble there and that they would be willing to help me out. It took me a second to think what she meant. Oh, you mean with me? As in neo-nazis are chasing me down in the street cuz I'm a dark-skinned foreigner whose stealing their jobs? Well why would that happen, I'm a white guy, or aren't I?
So then, have I ever been a victim of racism? Maybe in some twisted way racism self-reflected. Throughout my adult life others have consistently pegged me as a person of colour, although I have never given any thought to being anything other than white. Could it be that I deny my own identity? Maybe after all I am a person of colour. I think the next time I have to fill in a form which asks for my ethnicity, I'm going to put something other than white, and see the reactions I get.
------
As an aside, here is my favourite line from the program. Is it wrong to sometimes feel this way also?
"Here's the thing about people: I don't really like them. That's why I find racism so curious. There are so many reasons to dislike people, you're gonna go with colour?"
-Joel
------
Here is an assumption you most certainly can make:
-If I invite you to my place for dinner, you can assume I would like you to reciprocate.
